What a Mouth (What a North and South) - Tommy Steele

What a Mouth (What a North and South)

Jimmy Bean was a funny lookin' fella
If he had another mouth, he'd look much wella
But his face queered him from winning a beauty show
It was like a steamboat funnel
Or a railway arch, or the Blackwall Tunnel
When you can't see Jim, when he opens his mouth, you'll know

And as poor Jim goes walkin' about
You can hear the kids all 'ollerin' out

(What)
SPOKEN: 

"What? Oh, um"

"What a mouth"
"What a mouth"
"What a north and south"
"Blimey, what a mouth he's got"

Now when he was a baby, Lord, oh, lumme
His poor old mummy used to feed him with a shovel
What a gap
Poor chap
He's never been known to laugh
'Cause if he did, it's a penny to a quid
That his mouth would fall in 'alf

Mouth so large,
Oh Lord, oh, lumme
He could whisper in his own ear, ain't it funny
And now to quench his thirst,
Now he's got to take a drink, oh, my
He got so drunk one foggy morn
He laid in the road and started to yawn
And a poor old man was delivering coals close by

And as he went to shoot the load
He saw Jim's mouth out in the road

(What)
SPOKEN:

"Eh? Ooh, what? "

"Oh, yes, hmm"

"What a mouth"
"What a mouth"
"What a north and south"
"Blimey, what a mouth he's got"

Now the poor old man, bein' a short sighted fella
When he saw Jim's mouth, he took it for the cellar
And he shot the lot, right into his mouth, no joke
Jim, poor soul,'s got a tummy full of coal
And he coughs up lumps o' coke

(What)
SPOKEN: 

"Eh? What, eeh, ooh"
"Ooh, blimey, I thought it was all over"
"Oh, yes, um"

""What a mouth"
"What a mouth"
"What a north and south"
"Blimey, what a mouth he's got"

Now the poor old man, bein' a short sighted fella
When he saw Jim's mouth, he took it for the cellar
And he shot the lot, right into his mouth, no joke
Jim, poor soul,'s got a tummy full of coal
And he coughs up lumps of coke

Oy (oy, oy)